Finding strength within

It’s 4AM (YES, Im blogging at 4:00 AM) and I am holding my squirming babe who appears to have a  belly ache. As I try to rest my heavy eye lids this sentence keeps popping into my head (oh, this head of mine I tell you).

‘What doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger.’

Really? Most people are sleeping at 4:00 AM not getting poetic and writing blog posts. Seriously, I must be losing it! I’m coming off a particularly emotionally draining week and heading full force into a physically demanding one.  So maybe I’m not losing it after all..
Last week I struggled with many ‘heart issues’ but jealousy ranked among the top. What an ugly thing it can be. It hardens the heart something terrible. It’s like lava spewing out of a volcano. It pours out with no direction at all and hardens; leaving a path of destruction everywhere it has been. 
Now, as I enter this week my husband is away for business and I am here to ‘man’ the camp. He does not travel often (thank  God!) but when he does it is filled with late nights, sleepless nights, and early mornings. My expectations of myself run high on a daily basis but when I’m flying solo they are ‘over the top’!
I am not super human; so why should I expect to become such? 
However, this week I will try to be ‘different’ I will try to lean on ‘Him’ more and ‘me’ less in an effort to keep the storm at bay I might even try to schedule some me time. Focusing on what is truly important  and not the other 1000 things fighting for my time.
So I leave you with this ‘what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger.’ This week will certainly not ‘kill’ me. I will be challenged. I will be tired. I will work extra hard. I might feel frustrated. I might get cranky. However, I will come out stronger because I will not do it alone!!

Baby #4…Weeks 14-30

So here I am just shy of 30 weeks along with baby #4. I feel great and certainly can’t complain. The first 14 weeks of this pregnancy I felt nauseous 24/7 (that was something new…I don’t care to do again). The only thing that kept the gagging at bay was chewing gum CONSTANTLY!! Not good for someone with TMJ issues I might add.

 I have gained 15 lbs (exact same as I did with the other 3 at this time), I’m having crazy contractions (nothing terrible), walking like a crazy lady, chasing the kids, boating, and doing all the things I love to do!

 My game plan wait for baby, enjoy the little kicks (O.K some are big), welcome our new little one sometime in August to our fun/loving family, and keep on trucking on this road of motherhood! One minor detail…have umbilical hernia surgery sometime next Feb/March 2013 thanks to my loving babies 🙂 should be a hoot with 4 kids under 7!! Dear, Lord! We will survive? Won’t we?

14 weeks preggers…

19 weeks pregnant Mommy

Baby #4 (19 weeks)

It’s a boy!

30 weeks…who’s counting?

Almost “ONE”!!

It is hard to believe…my “little man” is almost “ONE”! Mr.Smiles you are such a joy to have in our life!! We are blessed beyond words with your charming personality and your wonderful disposition! Although, STILL a terrible sleeper (just like your sisters) we love you just the same.

 Still crawling at lightning speed…I’m shocked, but O.K with it too! It seems as though you do everything “fast” soooo…Im sure when you walk…it will be more of a “RUN”! You have grown up so quickly from a tiny baby….to a self feeding (still nursing)…bundle of fun!

 You helped “manage” our first family lemonade sale!!

You are a true water baby from birth…never so much as a “squeal” in the tub! Splish, splash…you love taking a bath, swimming, and yes, boating 🙂 Well, all except your life jacket…you much prefer to be on the go or sleeping down below to the hum of the engine.

“3” kids later the little blue pool…is still a hit!! Although, it is getting a bit tight…time for an upgrade? Or at least a city pool pass for those “hot” summer days ahead. The weather around here has been one extreme to the next…60-90 degree in any given week.

Mr. Smile Stat’s; 6 teeth (four on top, two bottom), drinks from a cup (although, he still loves nursing approx. 6 times in 24 hrs..YIKES), loves to eat (still staying away from rice, and “orange” veggies due to  extreme eczema problems), crawling, says “momma”, “dadda”, “hi”, “KA (car)”, makes the sound of a car, “woof, woof”, LOVES to talk..can you tell? Blows kisses, gives high five, waves, learning sign language, O’ and I have my first “biter”!! Tips on breaking this would be appreciated!! 🙂

Mr. Smiles..says “Thank you” for spending his first year with him!!