dairy free

Tantrums and Self Inflicting Pain

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 Our tiny little tot with brown eyes so wide they melt you from the inside out. Her beautiful blonde hair and long lashes are surely model material. {o.k. I’m a little bias}Then there is that moment you almost can’t recognize her. You know she is there but her fire for life has vanished. She has been taken over. You search but come up empty. Where is my sweet girl; you ask?
A tantrum over something so meaningless a shoe, a piece of clothing, or maybe an afternoon snack. A feeling of complete loss. I can not do anything right. How is it this little girl can make her momma cry day in and day out. I cry on the inside and out. I want to please her and help; but, when she won’t let me in how can I even begin to try?

Time outs on a rug, a spanking here or there, a visit to her room {usually in her crib} in order to restrain her flailing limbs. You look in her eyes and clearly she is not there. Self restraining her and hating the mother you have become. I love children. I love her with all my heart. Why, why must I go through this just to be her mom I cry out? I pray every night just make this end. Make her tantrums stop!


Time in time again I would take her out of her room to find blood. Surely she is banging her head on the crib. What an awful mother I must be putting a child out of control in something that has wood sides? No, I enter her room during one of her moments and what do I find? A little girl crying out in pain. She too clearly wants it to end. A death grip on her gums; ripping and tearing at what soon would be little teeth. She is so young. What would even possess a child to inflict such pain on herself as this? To the point of drawing blood. Surely, this is a joke? I am dreaming. I am afraid not.

  
It is REAL! Very Real!

Five Minute Friday ; Write

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This is when I hit the pause button from my 31days of food intolerance posting and take some time for me. 


It’s Five Minute Friday; a bunch of us crazy blogger types gather together #fmfparty it up and join in a community like no other. We write on a given prompt for 5 minutes, unedited, and link up at Lisa Jo-Bakers blog for a sharing good time. Join us! 


Today’s prompt; Write
Go

So many times this week thoughts danced in my head; why me? I write for one and nothing more. I write to vent, find peace, and understand. I’m not a professional and there are so many more knowledgeable than myself. I do not public speak, my platform is small, and what does all of this matter anyways?

There are blogs with bigger numbers and writers with an established platform. Why am I here? I don’t truly belong in this place at times. It is a foreign world to me that I have so much to learn. However, a glimmer of hope, trust, and friendship keeps me going.

I struggle and press on. Each 31day post I write brings tears, truth, and a real story to the table. A story not many know accept for those living physically in our home. Food intolerances, allergies, and the like are real. It can be hard and frustrating but we are together as one in a community. 

We are one working together for the good of many. Yes, my friends I’m writing, advocating, and speaking on behalf of millions. I might be writing for one but represent many. He spoke and I will answer. I will press on. I will push beyond my outer limits. I will educate, encourage, and write until I can no longer. It is my calling and that is why I’m home.

Down and Dirty (Potty Talk)

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Was she strong willed or a spirited child? Book after book; desperate for information and desperate for answers. I’m not a by the book parent what was I doing? I can’t stand the many labels we place on children, adults, and people in general. Did I need a label to make this better? I’m a behavioral science major with a focus on psychology. I should know this stuff, right? Truth, we are all just human and the question shouldn’t be what label he/she may be but rather how can we help him/her? I am not a medical doctor and never would claim to be one. I have countless hours clocked with working with children {not only my own but 23+ years worth of experience} also including 15 years experience with special needs. Therefore, I’d like to think I can spot something being off when I see it. 

With every passing day that went by I knew in the pit of my stomach something was not quite right; my something is off radar would ring and I would close my ears to its piercing sound. All of K.Bear’s well visits were proving her to be a healthy, growing, beautiful little girl. Why question the professionals? She is healthy; the end!

On the flip side there were so many still unanswered questions I could not seem to shake what child potty trains them self at 1 year old? Why so much “poop” drama as we would say. She ate the same as the rest of us; but, did she need to control that too? A control freak at one? Oh’ man we are in for it.

The days passed, as did the months, and another full year in fact before the pieces would be put together. The “poop” drama seemed to subside {a.k.a extreme constipation} and in fact turned quite the opposite. By the way since we are talking about “bathroom issues” I might also note the color at times was simply just not right. Surely, she must have eaten a popsicle with blue dye for that to occur. However, like any busy parent of now three children I never gave it a second thought. Looking back it was clearly my little girl’s intestinal track screaming for help. Now, was that the ringing bell I could hear?

“Gluten intolerance in children is becoming more and more common. Many parents are not even aware that their child has a gluten intolerance until the symptoms become noticeable enough and potentially disturbing. *

I was almost there. I may have been one step closer and holding the very key to an unlocked, unknown, world. We were clearly on a journey one we were very unfamiliar with. 

*sited from Gluten Intolerance School