Nocturnal Notes of Thanks

Do you know when most of my post are written? Answer between 2-4 AM. The truth is 4/4 of my children have been terrible sleepers.  

Pumpkin was a case of “mommy didn’t know what she was doing”. I created bad habits and then worse habits (yes, she would eat waffles in the middle of the night..I’ll get into that another day.)
 Kbear was my little night tantrum blessing. Mr. Smiles just liked his mommy time and looking back he was probably my best sleeper. 
Now, 14 months and going strong there’s Scooter (aka Stinker) he was born with a recently diagnosed enlarged adenoid. It affects his breathing, congestion, and sleep in the worst way. Yes, I spend many nights sleeping/sitting vertically holding him so he can breath. Now, that we have a diagnosis he will be having an adenoidectomy to correct this and Lord willing sleep will be in my future. 
I share this not for you to have pity for me (please don’t) as God has sustained me these past 8 years. No, I’m not super human and don’t require sleep but what has been needed in the way of rest He sees I get. It might look like only a 10 minute nap but the show must go on. More importantly over the years I have used these “extra” hours to pray, reflect, write, and give thanks. God speaks when it is quiet and still; something, my house is not usually with four kids 8 and under. He has used the night to keep me anchored. 
Here are some of my nocturnal notes of thanks;
1.Extra cuddles in the night
2.Moon lit rooms
3.Cozy pjs
4.Warm blankets 
5.Pillows to rest a weary head
6.Medical professionals who aid in the art of health/well being 
7.A mothers milk- providing nourishment to my babies for 13+ months (x4) 
8.Sound machines to block the noise of other siblings in the night 
9.A starter house turned family home (because God knows what is good for my family) 
Where do you carve out rest in your day? 

Transfiguring Darkness

“Darkness transfigures into light, bad transfigures into good-” this quote is from a book I’m currently reading 1000 Gifts; by, Emily Freeman

The days of darkness were long and filled with uncertainty as we sat night after night in the cold van. How could any of this be good? I find strength from above because surely no one could survive on what rest I am getting.

Moms groups and play dates keep my sanity by day. I joined MOPS when my oldest was born. A beautiful blessing it was. Mom’s who understood and care givers that accepted my children into their arms time and time again despite extreme separation anxiety. Caregivers rocking my sweet little one’s as I learn, grow, and be poured into myself {a rare treat}.

Amongst many who touched my life at this time. There was another; a mother I was destined to meet. {Well, I didn’t know this for sometime} She was as sweet as can be and clearly passionate about cooking for her family. This women handed a me a business card. {Right then, she planted an unknowing seed in my hand.} She was starting a gluten free web-sight as 3/5ths of her family requires this special diet. I would tuck the card kindly into my pocket and then a file. A file that remained closed for quite sometime. We would meet again as a job opportunity arose for myself as an online contributor for our city. There we sat over coffee and treats. Her babes and mine; but clearly I did not see an instant connection. A connection I would soon see was strategically planned by God himself.

Meanwhile, at home the fits continue and the rustling of the sheets makes my head swell with anguish. Why can’t she even cuddle? Must she rub her feet together; like two sticks starting a fire. Her clothing never quite ‘right‘. The wrong color, the wrong size, long sleeves and pants in the summer. A real independent trend setter we have on our hands. 

I say nothing to no one outside the home as the pain within hurts too much. Then, I step one shaking, foot in front of the other…

I turn “Google Dr.” 3AM after another visit to the van….

Empty and dark these are my days and nights with her; a child I so badly want to understand.

Mystery trip

Growing up as kids my parents would frequently take us on what was known as a family “Mystery Trip” my sister and I did not know where we were going, who would be there, or what to expect along the way. Some trips were bigger than others but it was always a special surprise none the less. I have been thrilled to start this same tradition with our children.
One of our most recent “Mystery Trips” was a “trip downtown” (yes, that is a trip to my kids as it is not someplace we go often) to see Sesame Street live at The Fox Theater.  Friends of ours invited us to join them in their suite and enjoy a complimentary luncheon as well. It was a great time enjoyed by all! 
 Some trips are “big” some are “small” but none are ever forgotten! A good “Mystery Trip” is one that is imprinted on our child’s soul for a lifetime. Making memories and sharing in the thing that matters most spending time together.