Letters to Our Daughters; A Letter Worth Reading


It’s been a month since our physical move and yes, I’m slowly making my way back to this space (notice the new URL) . So please pardon the dust as I am doing a bit of ‘blog spring cleaning’.

I’ve wanted to come back to this space and write for sometime but haven’t been able to find the words to do so. My motivation has been low, my attitude has been bad, and well, today is the day I’m finally jumping back into the blogosphere linking up with Brooke over at Bye, Comparison and accepting a little blog ‘challenge’ from my dear friend Crystal – I’m joining these lovelies and writing a letter about worth to my daughters…

Nearly 9 1/2 years ago I quit my job to stay at home with our little bundle of pink cuteness. I still can’t think of anywhere else I would rather have been at that time; other than with her. The days were long but, I was so very blessed. There were diaper changes, walks to the park, cuddles, snuggles, books to be read, and hours upon hours of bonding. I was so in love-

Then, something changed – the ‘norms‘ of today’s society and the cultural expectations of women took a hold of my heart strings. My once felt feelings of bliss quickly turned sour. Although, I was (and still am) so grateful to be home with our baby (quickly followed by babies two, three, and four) it has at times seemed as if my personal worth was deflating with each passing day spent at home.

Sure, the constant juggling act of raising four kids, being a wife, and homeschooling keeps me on my toes but, I still frequently feel the pressure of society to work outside the home; you know, bring in a paycheck, help with finances, have a title, dress up, and ‘be important‘. With all of this said – what is it that measures worth?

Is it the number of diapers changed in a day?

The number of home cooked meals?

A degree earned?

Or is it bringing in a pay check and sitting in a corporate chair?

Isn’t being a Godly wife and mother worth something?

Sure, well meaning friends, family, and total strangers are quick to tell you that staying home is the hardest job on earth or that being a homeschool mom IS a job – but, do they really mean it?

I struggle- everyday! I struggle with the voices in my head telling me what I “should be doing ….” but, are the voices real or simply that of a culture that has gone astray? Who am I? And more importantly who has God made me to become?

I am after all worthy and so are you!

Dear Sweet Girls,

My wish for you in this life is to find the strength within to fight life’s battles – so dear child, choose your battles wisely as there are many along the way.

Dream as big as the mountains and may mankind never hold you back from doing great things for His kingdom – may you always remember to stop often and help others who may have gone astray.

Love deeply, love unconditionally, and ask for forgiveness often.

May your life’s journey be filled with adventure – as your life’s worth will not simply be measured by that which you reap but, rather what you have sewn along the way.

May the works of your hand sew seeds of grace, gratitude, love, respect, integrity, purity, and respect each and every step.

Remember you are loved and your worth is not mearly measured by what you wear, the money you make, nor the sacrifices you have made along the way.

He has made you worthy! You are a child of God!

Your worth is in the journey and the ever lasting mark you will one day leave behind.

Love always, Mommy

Are you a mom who also struggles with staying home? Are you a mom who is trying to run your own home business or juggle the many hats of a working mom? Then stick around – there is a lot more coming from this writing ‘well’.


The Night I Quit

We’ve all been there; you know the days that drag on with kids acting disobediently and your own emotions running particularly high as a result. With every mean thing uttered and every failed listening ear; you begin to wonder where have you gone wrong? I just want to quit! 

Last week as my husband traveled for work I was blessed with one of those days. Was I speaking a language they did not recognize? 

“No more electronics”

“Stop running… Someone will get hurt”

“Time to get ready for bed”

“Ummmm…hello, it’s bed time”

I sat, in total disbelief. My heart heavy and tears burning the back of my eyes. Clearly I just want to throw in the towel and quit; but, moms can’t quit. It’s the job that you can’t quit at; or can you? I say the words. “I quit!” I repeat it as the noise volume is at decibels most should never experience. “I quit!” 

I am hurt, angry, and very frustrated. I tell the kids they were suppose to be in bed 15 minutes prior and that their in charge; clearly they think I’m joking. I begin to do my nightly chores; fold laundry, put clothes away, evening straightening from a day of chaos, lesson plans, and dirty dishes. They watch attentively as mom moved busily about. I remind them that there is school in the morning and act responsibly. Children need sleep. 

9:00 rolls around; they are still up. Calmly I ask if they remember where their beds are as I’m not “doing” bedtime tonight. Three sad faces blank staring back at me; I feel it, I can’t quit. They need me despite their immature behavior. I am responsible to train them and guide their ignorance and immaturity. I want to bang my head on the counter. Grumpily, I put one by one in their beds. Apologies are said before night slumbers and thanksgivings given for yes, even the days we want to quit. 

We are called to a job of no turning back: a constant selflessness and pouring of self. It is a job with no monies paid but hugs a plenty: there is no quitting, no end, and no perfect method. We are all perfectly imperfect sinners just trying to figure this thing called life out. (Tweet This)

1000 Gifts of Mothering

1. Boo Boo kisses
2. Midnight kisses
3. Snuggles while reading good books
4. Butterfly Kisses
5. I Love You’s a plenty
6. Imperfect days with sincere apologies
7. Chances to make all wrongs right
8. Childrens laughter
9. Busy chatter among siblings
10. My big family

Have a Friend; Be a Friend

Over the years I have had many friends come and go. I say this not boastfully; but, rather as a teacher educating her students. Each friend has served one purpose or another and many have left lasting imprints in my life. I venture to say you have experienced the same. 
Some will say your high school years are among “the best days of your life“others may say “college” is. I personally disagree. Although, I have carried some of those friendships with me and certainly enjoy the occasional meetup with an old friend as much as the next guy. Nothing, could have prepared me for the friendships I would have as a wife and mother. 
Marrying my husband meant an instantaneous adoption of his very tight knit group of friends. A rare group at its best; one I’m sure does not exisist most anywhere, a group of high school  sweet hearts that graciously opened their arms to the outside girl. These friends have served as an unbelievable foundation over the years. They truly model what it means to live in community with one another; all living within 10 minutes of childhood homes, and holding a divorce rate of zero: what’s not to love? 
Over the coarse of the years I too still cherish a few of my own childhood friends which still remain. I might not see them everyday but they are there if needed; these friends are my rock if the storms should become too strong.
There have been MOPS friendships, neighbors turned friends, church friends, homeschool acquaintances turned friends, and online turned (in)RL (real life) friends. The number of people that have impacted my soul becomes immeasurable; and, in turn makes me ponder those lives I have touched along the way too. 
Have I done it with grace and open arms? 
What kind of friend have I been to those lives who have passed mine? 
Why surely; in order to have a friend you must be a friend. I desire to be the friend I would want but the truth is I know I fail. Life happens and stretches our being. We make mistakes, stumble, fail, and get back up knees knocking reaching out offering an out stretched hand in hopes of coveing where we have fallen short. I know no one is the perfect friend because we as humans are far from perfect! 
So what kind of friend am I? I am an ear that lends listening to and a gentle voice of comfort on a bumpy road kind of friend.  I am a cheerleader rooting for you each step of your journey. I am the outstretched hand covering past failures but lending support in the most needed of times. My gifts come not in pretty packages or in the way of cards as I simply do not think of these things (dang, my friends who do spoil me so regardless. I love you!) 
My prayer is that I may continue to be the friend I desire; casting all pain, fears, and failure aside. May I become the friend you  need and that He has created me to be. 
1000 Gifts of Friendship 
1. Surprise morning coffee brought to my door
2. Chocolates with a message 
3. Special notes of encouragement 
4. Phones that lessen the distance 
5. Bravery to step forth and take risks when others might choose to ignore 
6. Carpooling friends
7. Extra muffin cup, egg, and vanilla kind of friends
8. Project Love  
9. Old friendships that are steady in a shaken world 
10. New friends