She is exhausted and sleeping: three hours of crying will do that to you. It was a tantrum like none other. Starting like so many before it… “One more mommy; just one more?” “No, it is almost dinner and you have an entire bowl of animal crackers. You do not need any more.” It started and had no end in sight.
Siblings walk around plugging their ears begging us {the parents} to make her stop. As ridiculous as it was we could not help but laugh at some points; if we did not laugh we were sure to cry along side her. I record her this time out of disbelief; spitting, yelling, kicking, and screaming she carries on for hours.
I replay the events of the day over and over in my head. I’ve got this. I know this. I’ve seen this. These tantrums; they look vaguely familiar. I’ve fought these fights before in my past. It begins to click as day turns to night I clutch my laptop as if it’s the last string of hope. I search; gluten intolerance, gluten sensitivity, and dairy reactions in children. There is light!
My vision blurred from tears and endless hours of reading. I believe I have found it. Captivated as I read countless stories of children; yes, just like mine and their desperate parents whom want simply to understand and help. I have indeed found it.
The very thing that triggers her is the very thing we need from birth; food! Of coarse, why have I not thought of it sooner?
God gives us the pieces a little at a time: we truly only see the big picture once all the pieces are put in their correct place(s). I get it. I really get it. These tantrums like so many others I’ve worked with in therapy. My countless hours of psychology studies, a natural born obsession with nutrition, and a calling. A calling to be her mother.
I rest knowing that we are going on a journey together as a family. I fear this might break me but I rest knowing the key is officially in my hand. I have been so naive to think I was doing it right; feeding my children well. Hopeless, lost, hurt, and humiliated; I look beyond these feelings knowing we are about to meet our little girl for the first time.
Five Minute Friday
So I’m stretching the horizon today and writing 2 posts within 1. I’m linking up with my girls at Lisa Jo-Bakers. The rules are simple 1 word {a given prompt} five minutes, no editing, and join the #fmfparty and have some fun.
Today’s Five Minute Friday word; ordinary
It’s 5:00 AM a typical day around her. The coffee is starting to brew and I gather myself onto our couch for my morning routine. A hellomornings check in, a quick glance at email, a blog post to schedule, a shower, and a school day to prep for before the house is bustling with the noise of my children.
There are breakfasts to be made, children that need changing, and before long our ordinary day has begun.
School, lunch, more school, playtime, maybe a walk or visit to the park, dinner, baths, and bedtime routines we scurry about like hamsters in a wheel.
I give thanks for the ordinary in my day. The simple things like routine, the sunrise, and the cardinal family that visits us daily. I find security and comfort in the things that remain consistent in life.
Dreams of extraordinary dance about in my head daily. Reaching beyond our outer limits, challenging self, and a goal to change the monotony of a day. An ordinary that is consistent is comfort but are we to simply accept comfort or push beyond? Today a challenge to step forth into a new light, chase the unimaginable, achieve the extraordinary, and rest in your ordinary.
