Dr.Google; Aspergers-Cancer

3AM… Sleepy eyed I type; Aspergers. I read and come up empty. I type; Sensory Disorder {nothing}. Spirited child..

Aha, I had heard it before that was surely it. 

Spirited Child- A child described as being more difficult  for parents to parent; and, one who resists most forms of comfort. It is in a sense the new politically correct term used to describe children we don’t otherwise have an explanation for. It is a nice way of saying strong willed {which she is to this day} but that is a strength not a weakness. It should be something to be admired not something to be judged. 

I down load the book and …give more attention {how can I possibly give her more?} identify what triggers her {EVERYTHING.} Gah, with each passing day I grow more frustrated and angry. I stop reading. Why am I back at these labels? 

Time is ticking with each day that passes we are one step closer to juggling a new born and night tantrums in our home. You see these tantrums at night were not an issue with baby number three. This was something new.  Could this really be an “act” to get more time with us knowing another tiny person would be entering the world soon? 

Nope.. No way. Who wakes at a consistent time night after night simply to disrupt a household for attention?

Does she need therapy some ask? Nope.. No way. She’s three, at home with mom and dad; not to mention all of her different behaviors since birth. Oh’yeah, and she hates strangers so I’m pretty sure talking to a therapist would sound more like dead silence filling an empty space.

The alarm bells are ringing again..

A well visit in August proved still a healthy little girl, but four/five months had since passed and the numbers on the scale are alarmingly different. She has lost 3 lbs since. How is that even possible? She’s eating. We eat healthy mostly organic, order from area farms, and I pretty sure even my pregnancy mom brain would notice a full plate at the end of a meal. One pound different than her 22 month younger brother. Alarming and a bit concerning. Children should not lose weight without explanation; I know this. Is it cancer? 

Is this monster eating my child’s inside the very disease that takes so many? The thought enters as quickly as it leaves..

She is not well and I will do what it takes to save her from this. I will hesitate and be fearful of what I might find but I will trust in the one who created her. I will trust in Him, the father of all creation. 

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