When Life Happens and You Don’t Feel Like an A+ Mom

So if you’re anything like me, you sometimes have the best of intentions, big ideas, or great plans only to fall short of your vision. You want to do some fun crafts, games, or activities with your little ones all too soon to realize that the darn holiday or event is literally the next day and you have nothing planned. That’s right, nothing – not one.single.thing!

That’s when it gets good…the flood gates open; I some how go from this desire to be an A+ ‘fun mom’ to a horrible mom in a bad mood all because I had these ‘great‘ ideas and plans built up in my head but, instead of my ‘fun fantasy plans’  this thing called ‘life’ happened.

I got caught up on an important work call. The dog puked on the floor for the 100th time. Speedy-Bee and Nature-Boy turned the house into a real hunting camp complete with guns, nerf-gun bullets, and little stuffed animals tucked in every cranny of our home. Music-Bee needed help with her report. Crafty-Bee wanted to bake a recipe which we only had half the ingredients for.

So, what do I do?

I do what every awesome mom does, hide in a closet, and login to Facebook for a breather. Wow, that really made me feel better -ummm, said no one ever. I log in only to see little Sally’s mom made awesome looking cupcakes, Johnny’s mom decorated the house perfectly for a fun afternoon of crafting, Grace’s kids are sitting picture perfect on the couch listening quietly to a story and, here I am feeling like a horrible mother hiding in a closet. My big plans of awesomeness turned into just ‘another day’ in the blink of an eye.

Have you been there? I mean, seriously y’all don’t make a girl feel like she is the only mom who has ever hid in a closet for peace and quiet from life’s chaos.

This message is to all the overachievers out there {and trust me, I am one} guess what, you’re not a bad mom if you didn’t have a chance to decorate Easter eggs, carve that pumpkin, or make some super-duper special treat for your kids class party. Yes, we really have had years that we did not decorate eggs. We have had years where our NOT carved pumpkin sat beautifully displayed for the world to see. You have strengths and bring beauty to your kids days- everyday, 365 days a year.

Your kids simply want you to show up and be there. Your mood changes the homes atmosphere {no pressure, haha} and, your shortcomings teach your kids grace. So, don’t beat yourself up the next time things don’t go as planned. Don’t rush around like crazy to ‘pull it off’ {ummm…because clearly I may or may not have tried to do this}.

Simply show up, be there, and maybe consider turning your phone off.

All that said; by all means if you still feel so inclined to do some activities, cook some yummy food, play some games, or read some good books in the days, weeks, months ahead stay tune because I have some holiday round ups coming just for you!

And, remember whether you do one, none, or all of these things….the most important memory you could make today is simply being present. So yes, that means staying out of the closet. Well, unless there is coffee and chocolate involved….then, by all means sip your coffee and wolf down that chocolate piece before you are busted!

Still finding crafty? Here is our ‘My Happy Homestead Holiday Round Up with Supply Lists’ so, you can spend more time crafting and less time running around!

Easy St.Patricks Day Crafts For Kids

Chasing Fear Out of Your Homeschool

Chasing Fear
Oh my goodness, sorting through old blog posts both published and unpublished I stumbled across this cute little gem ….look how tiny they were! Looking back at these pictures I am reminded of how quickly they grow up.  I am reminded that all the curriculums in the world can not compare to ‘play’ at these young ages.
I have read posts, counseled, conversed, and literally spent hours with concerned parents – ‘are we doing enough’? “What if I keep my 3 year old home for preschool – will they ever make it into college?” I get it! I’ve been there! That fear of  ‘are we enough’ sweeps in like a raging storm. That fear can be crippling but, one should never be afraid to fail – one should only fear not trying. The fear of ‘damaging’ our kids through homeschooling is an insecurity brought forth by the very system in which saw us through our own school days – are we smart enough, good enough, wise enough?
7 years later in our homeschool journey – I’m still asking those same questions.

 As if,  our own doubts weren’t enough – there are/will be the inevitable ‘curious cat’s “;
“So, do you plan on doing this ‘homeschool thing’ forever?”
“So, what about high school? I mean it’s fine for elementary but, what about the upper grades?”
Sometimes these questions and comments come across as curiosity, genuine concern, plain old noisiness, and sometimes they are just shear antagonistic. My response varies but, it normally sounds something like –We started this journey as a family; one day, one year, and one kid at a time…and that is the path we will continue to take.
Choosing a life of virtue, wisdom, nurtured curiosity, and self expression for our kids is something to be embraced not something to be shamed out of doing. You are giving your child a gift. Whether you homeschool for 1 year, twelve years, or are simply supplementing your traditionally schooled child’s education there is no curriculum for an ‘atmosphere, a discipline, a life’ yet to be explored. 
I am in no way opposed to traditional school options: I have certainly looked into, and been intrigued by the option. At the end of the day it is a matter of heart – what is best for your family? Curriculum is a tool and ‘school’ is a location – the real question you
should be asking is; What would you do if you weren’t afraid?  Let your faith be bigger than your fear and do that!
 
We alone are not enough – never have been and never will be! 
 
 

If you are in need of a little ‘mental’ homeschooling boost; here are a couple books I highly recommend! (*affiliate link)


 

10 Reasons-Why We Homeschool

10 Reasons Why We Homeschool - From a Mom of Four Kids 

Why Do We Homeschool?

Yes, this is a question I periodically get asked by outsiders- but, not very often these days. Maybe it is my own confidence level with our family’s decision or the growing homeschool population that have helped make “it” not as out of the ordinary as “it” once was. 
 
So being the list maker that I am- of coarse I wanted a hands on visual list covering the reasons “why” we do this crazy thing called “homeschool” – I do not feel the need to better defend our family’s decision but it’s more to fulfill a need and serve as a reference for those times when the going gets rough- because folks, it does. I am not wonder women and my kids are not perfect either. We make mistakes, we argue, we disagree, I want to quit, my kids argue, and well, we are human. We make mistakes, apologize, forgive, pray, and move forward.
That’s real life.
 
I never thought I would “really” homeschool my kids- In college I wrote term papers on it (yes, before I had kids of my own), I researched “it“, and I was always a bit curious about people who  who did in fact do this homeschool thing- I always wanted to know “how” they did “it“- but, I never really thought I would become one of “those” people. 
 
If I’m totally honest I probably had the stereotypical image of a “perfect” family dressed in denim (not that I have anything against denim), holding hands, gathered around a big farm table, and no arguing- just a blissful home education environment. 
 
Oh, and lets not forget about the “perfect” dinner that was waiting atop the stove and the impeccably clean home because the children obediently and cheerfully helped with daily chores. Ha, man I’m pretty sure I was envisioning a great start to a really good book. 
 
So, without further ado here are …..

Our Top 10 Reasons; Why We Homeschool

Our reasons have changed over the years with a few core reasons still remaining the same- I guarantee some of these are not even remotely close to what you might expect.
 

Selfishness – I’m not going to lie- I am selfish. Aren’t we all? I like spending time with my kids and I don’t want to send them off for most of the day. I don’t want to spend my only hours of the day carpooling my kids around and doing homework that was assigned by a teacher. So there- I said it, I am selfish and yes, that is one reason “why we homeschool“.

Gifts and Talents– We strongly believe in our home that every individual has a unique set of gifts and talents. Homeschooling provides the perfect learning environment to foster, develop, and explore those gifts and talents. A typical homeschooled student can complete his or her “book work” in a few short hours leaving the rest of a day to develop, interact, and embrace the being that God intended them to be.
 
Freedom and Flexibility– One of my favorite things about homeschooling is having the freedom to choose my children’s curriculum. I absolutely love pouring over curriculum review web-sights, catalogs, and tailoring each child’s material to fit his or her learning style. Yes, it is a ton of work- but, watching them grow and learn in an environment that best meets their individual needs is immeasurable.
 
Way back when I wasn’t one of “those” homeschool parents-I think what I really wanted to know was what their day looked like. I’m going to let you in on a little secret and tell you- its flexible.
If we have a dentist appointment at 11:00 one day then maybe that means we double up on school work the next. If we don’t start until 9:15 AM one morning instead of the normal 8:30 AM you know what, everything is going to be ok. If we fell behind in a particular subject one given year- we then have an entire summer to pound it out.
10 Reasons Why We Homeschool - Need Encouragement or Thinking about Homeschooling? Lessons learned from a busy, work at home mom of four kids 10 and under
Control– So, yes just as I am selfish I am equally a control freak. I like to “think” I’m in control- ha, even though I so am not. Homeschooling does however give you a certain amount of control. You have better control over the environments that your child(ren) are exposed to- and the field trips they attend. You also have control over the curriculum and teaching method used to educate your child(ren)-whether it is religious, secular, eclectic, montessori, classical, etc.
 
Food Related Issues– This is one “why” that I personally used to balk at- when we first began homeschooling in fact I seriously thought- “really, people would homeschool their kids because of food allergies?” Yes! I never thought I would homeschool some of my children because of food issues and guess what I learned “never judge”. Our homeschool philosophy (well, I guess if you want to consider it that) is – year by year; kid by kid. Much to my surprise and 6 years later God is still calling us to a homeschool lifestyle-and, with each passing year and each coming school aged child it is only becoming that much more evident. With food issues ranging from gluten, dairy, dye, nightshades, to an unknown slew- I’m in no hurry to send them off.
 

Real Life– Education extends far beyond what we learn in a text book. Learning happens in our day to day life. The things we experience day to day enhance our scope of knowledge far beyond that of any text books. When a learning environment consists of 7+ hours of classroom, text book, paper testing, and institutionalized learning- a real life hands on learning environment can be a hard thing to mirror within the walls of a school. This was one of our original reasons “why we homeschool“- real life experiences, problems, and solutions.

 

Family Togetherness- This is another original reason “why“- back when we first made the decision to keep our oldest daughter home my husband was traveling a good deal and the thought of some of our only quality family time being at jeopardy was not even an option-we would homeschool. 

We didn’t want the best hours of our day spent away from each other- children are at their best typically in the morning and early afternoon-yes, the prime time for learning. So yes, I pulled the selfish card- I want my kids at their best- not when they are tired, hungry, and flat out grumpy. 

As our family has grown over the years the family togetherness that we have day in and day out has helped form special bonds between each of our kids-they really are each others best friends. They squabble, fight, yell, and disagree just the same as any other siblings but at the roots-they know, they are stuck together like glue.

Learning is fun; NOT Hard– One of the questions I frequently get is but “how do you grade them” “what about a GPA“- here is what I have to say to that; I check their work for accuracy, effort, and completeness- we educate to learn, master, retain, and use the information gathered. We do not educate to get an “A”. When is the last time your boss gave you an “A” on your project-he or she likely didn’t. You instead get a complete sit down review of your strengths, weaknesses, goals, achievements, and things to improve upon.
That my friends is how we grade.
 
Learning is fun; not hard- we make it way more complicated than it needs to be-make school interesting- some good books, the internet, real life interviews, experiences, and a bit of encouragement can go a long way. I do not need to speak 5 languages, be a chemistry major, and know calculus to be a good teacher to my child. There are people who can help with that stuff- know your limitations- and, when to seek help with the things that are beyond your scope of knowledge. It takes a community to educate a child-embrace that community.
 
Self Assurance and Independence– Some of our kids are not quite as confident as others- they need a little extra hand holding, a little more attention, and a lot more encouragement. While others, are completely capable of being set free to work independently. Homeschooling has provided an environment which we can embrace both end of the spectrum. I can set my independent learners free- with occasional monitoring and little instruction. While, I can encourage, teach, and feed the tiny hearts of those that may not quite be “there” yet. We want all of children to be independent leaders- full of self confidence and drive.
The World is our Classroom– I remember one of my favorite things about going to school was the occasional time the teacher would announce “we are having school outside“. I loved it. My kids are outside nature lovers too. Our days are filled with outside exploring, running around before, during, and after lessons. We eat lunch on the porch 6+ months out of the year- there are field trips, family “gym” walks, and endless hours of imaginary play. We are not confined to the walls of our home to do school- the world really is our classroom.
"Get Lost in Nature and You'll Find Yourself" - 10 Reasons Why We Homeschool from a busy mom of four

If you are contemplating homeschooling be sure to send me a message or leave me a comment- I love helping newbies and hearing from all of you. Homeschooling has taken on a new face in recent years- we are not all religious extremist raising little book worms- we are real family’s-home educating our totally normal socialized (non-sheltered) children.

I am not anti-school- I went to school- I went to college- we are just doing what works for us-and, you should do the same. I say none of this to offend anyone or place judgement- it all comes from the heart so please keep any rude comments to yourself- thou shall not judge (I don’t, and I certainly hope you would refrain from doing the same as I strive to make this space a safe, encouraging, and helpful home for all who visit). 
Blessings, Jenny