The Night I Quit

We’ve all been there; you know the days that drag on with kids acting disobediently and your own emotions running particularly high as a result. With every mean thing uttered and every failed listening ear; you begin to wonder where have you gone wrong? I just want to quit! 

Last week as my husband traveled for work I was blessed with one of those days. Was I speaking a language they did not recognize? 

“No more electronics”

“Stop running… Someone will get hurt”

“Time to get ready for bed”

“Ummmm…hello, it’s bed time”

I sat, in total disbelief. My heart heavy and tears burning the back of my eyes. Clearly I just want to throw in the towel and quit; but, moms can’t quit. It’s the job that you can’t quit at; or can you? I say the words. “I quit!” I repeat it as the noise volume is at decibels most should never experience. “I quit!” 

I am hurt, angry, and very frustrated. I tell the kids they were suppose to be in bed 15 minutes prior and that their in charge; clearly they think I’m joking. I begin to do my nightly chores; fold laundry, put clothes away, evening straightening from a day of chaos, lesson plans, and dirty dishes. They watch attentively as mom moved busily about. I remind them that there is school in the morning and act responsibly. Children need sleep. 

9:00 rolls around; they are still up. Calmly I ask if they remember where their beds are as I’m not “doing” bedtime tonight. Three sad faces blank staring back at me; I feel it, I can’t quit. They need me despite their immature behavior. I am responsible to train them and guide their ignorance and immaturity. I want to bang my head on the counter. Grumpily, I put one by one in their beds. Apologies are said before night slumbers and thanksgivings given for yes, even the days we want to quit. 

We are called to a job of no turning back: a constant selflessness and pouring of self. It is a job with no monies paid but hugs a plenty: there is no quitting, no end, and no perfect method. We are all perfectly imperfect sinners just trying to figure this thing called life out. (Tweet This)

1000 Gifts of Mothering

1. Boo Boo kisses
2. Midnight kisses
3. Snuggles while reading good books
4. Butterfly Kisses
5. I Love You’s a plenty
6. Imperfect days with sincere apologies
7. Chances to make all wrongs right
8. Childrens laughter
9. Busy chatter among siblings
10. My big family